women's groups

[smileswhf]

I went to a women's natural labor support group last night. I went because I need to make a decision on whether to hire a doula to help me during labor. I met with one two weeks ago. My spouse liked her but I had some reservations the biggest of which is that you just never know who you are going to end up with when the time comes. The woman I met with has a partner. If the person you choose can't make it, you get someone else. I haven't met this someone else and I would like to before I fork over some hundreds of dollars to pay someone who is supposed to provide me comfort and advice in a difficult time. These doulas run this women's group, so I went. It was supposed to last an hour from 6-7. At 7:30 I was getting a headache from lack of food. At 8, I was the first one to up and leave. The first hour was spent with introductions and women telling their birth stories. There was the obligitory "oh, it was such a beautiful experience" story. The woman I most appreciated was a mom who had her 13 day old daughter with her. This woman has had 7 kids, all but the first were natural. From her I got the most important piece of information -- if you have an epidural, you have to stay in the hospital for a day because you won't be able to walk for 12 hours. See, you are just supposed to know this. My spouse is a good guy. He's a scientist and not about unnecessary pain. He more than anyone has been in favor of the pain killers. You know, a "why suffer" kind of attitude. It looks like the answer to that is because that 1 little injection means a mandatory hospital stay. It's the best argument I've heard so far for sucking it up and just dealing with the pain. I hate hospitals.

Comments

[nilasae.livejournal.com]

From what I learned recently c-sections are more common in urban areas, at least around here in .at. I think I'd go for a natural labor/birth without an epidural over a c-section if possible. In case there's some case of danger to the kid(s) - cut me up anytime...
(I hope I didn't miss the point of what you were trying to say!)

[smileswhf.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure I had a point. Those women's groups always kind of piss me off. You can get good information and meet some nice people, but along with it is mis-information and airy-fairy stupidity.

It is also true in this country that c-sections are at an all time high -- 30-32% of all births. I would never do an elective c-section, especially after having surgery in August. Talk about pain! But for vaginal births it is really common to get an epidural. I'm not sure what the epidural rates are in the big cities, but where I'm at, there is over a 90% epidural rate. It's still a vaginal birth but you are just numb from the waist down. There is some appeal to that. If you do run into complications, the doctor doesn't have to administer a general anesthetic if you have had an epidural. Also, a lot of women and doctors believe that there is just no reason to deal with the pain if you don't need to. I've been feeling tired and run-down post surgery. That plus my age makes me consider an epidural when I never would have considered it a few years ago when I was much stronger and in better shape. Until I went to this women's group, there was no obvious down side because no one tells you that you can't walk for 12 hours afterward (so you can't shower and you can't go to the bathroom without help and you can't go home).

The other option is if you try to do natural (read "unmedicated") birth and can't get through it, you can also get a narcotic injection. They often use demoral for that. I'm allergic to demoral, so I would probably have to have morphine. That also has it's draw backs. You are dopey and unable to deal with an infant in those first few hours. Also, you can't leave the hospital until you can prove that you can urinate without a catheter.

[nilasae.livejournal.com]

Whoops, great info, thanks for sharing!